Monday, April 14, 2008

Oreo's, Coffee, and a Pink Plastic Tea Set

I'm not sure why, but Max has been on my heart a lot lately. I almost (as in, my eyes filled with tears but I was able to avoid having to wipe them) cried in church yesterday during worship. I don't remember which song started it but I was overwhelmed with a love for my God. Then "Indescribable" about did me in and I couldn't stop grinning as we all sang "Indescribable, Uncontainable, You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name, You are amazing God!"

No one here was privileged to meet Max. Only a few even know he existed. The few in the medical field who knew that I carried him may not have acknowledged his existence. To them he may have just been tissue that could have, but didn't, become a new little life. I don't know though, I didn't ask what they thought. I knew he was.

I was not blessed by the sound of his heart beating. I was not blessed to know his gender. I was not blessed with the opportunity to name him. But I was blessed to be able to love him. And he was known by God.

He was a gift from my God, a gift I am grateful for. But in this fallen world where nothing has not been cursed by sin, I didn't get to keep him. But the hope I have in Christ reminds me that I will meet him someday.

And today, he has met my Great Aunt. And I love the thought of it.

Now, I don't believe that anyone I long to see again in heaven will be my first priority when I get there. I can't fathom meeting the God I serve, meeting my Savior, falling at His feet and asking, "Can I see my Grandma?" So, I don't like to hear things like "oh, Max must have met her at the pearly gate" or "Max welcomed her to heaven". Jesus took her home. She met her Father. And I'll bet no one else mattered.

So, now, she's been Home for 10 1/2 hours (or so). And if "with the Lord a day is like thousand years" then she's coming up on 500 years at lunchtime! I think they've met by now.

I can't begin to imagine them in heaven. I can only picture them the way I remember them. So I imagine what I know. I know that Max met a Great, Great Aunt today. An Aunt who would have introduced him to oreo's and coffee in a pink plastic tea set. Who would have called him a "little darling" and patted her knee and giggled about all the amazing things he would have done, like rolling over or growing hair. An Aunt who would have plopped him into an old wooden high chair and celebrated an ordinary day with petite fores. She would have turned on her organ and played "Let's go down to Mary-Ann's" and "Take me out to the Ballgame" just to make him smile. If Max were a girl, she would have opened up her jewelry boxes for her just to see her eyes sparkle brighter than the gems on the fake jewelry. If Max were a boy, it would have been frogs and a barrel of monkeys. And if Max had known any birthdays here, she would have sent a card that she wrote herself to tell him she loved him and thought of him often.

I miss her. The hope I have in Christ reminds me, I will see her again someday. And that Max has met a Great, Great Aunt today.