Friday, September 26, 2008

The Story of Oliver

It's real. It's really real! I want to share the story of how "Ollie" came to be. (No, not the health class version!)

When Gary and I were separated I was very unsure of what our future would be. I was trusting God with my future without any indication from Him which way it would be turning. I remember telling a friend that there was one thing that I was sure of. If our marriage was restored, Gary would want another baby.

Oh, yeah, I saw it coming. So, I dug my heels in and took a firm stand on the issue. And God did restore our marriage and it wasn't long after he came back home that I found myself having conversations with Gary about baby number 5.

He loved the idea of having another baby and I had already prepared myself to argue with him. Now, it wasn't causing a problem in our relationship but God did tell me that it was something we needed to work out or down the road it would. We discussed this and decided that we would pray for God's leading on the issue and pray that we would be of like-mind. I started praying that our desires would be the same. That we would both desire a fifth child or both feel content with our four.

Obviously, the answer to our prayer was going to involve God changing one of us.

I was certain that it would not be me.

I was wrong.

There was a day in August that I felt sick. The kind of sick that I only feel when I'm pregnant. I told myself it was too soon and then immediately thought back to my pregnancy with Rachel. That was enough to make me realize that just because I shouldn't be pregnant doesn't mean I'm not. That was the only day I felt sick and that was the only thing that made me wonder if I might be pregnant. The next three weeks were terribly long.

God had not yet changed my desire but the fact that I might be pregnant was very exciting. I didn't know if I really wanted another baby or if I was just excited because, well, let's face it, once they're on the way I can't help but love them already! And guess what? I was late! I am never late. But. The pregnancy test was negative. Of course, Rachel had already taught me not to take comfort in negative tests (3 negative home tests and a negative blood test at the doctor's office will do that)! But two days later I had further proof.

I remember asking God (out loud, even), "Why? Why did you let me be late if I'm not pregnant?"

The moment I asked, He told me, "So you would know you want a baby."

So, Gary and I spent the month of September praying for a baby. (See? I told you I wasn't going to share the health class version! And you are welcome.) I had a test left from August that I was planning on taking on the 25th. On the 23rd, Garrett, Rachel I had to run to the bank in the afternoon. On my way there, I felt that I needed to take the test when I got home.

Twenty minutes before the kids got home from school, I took that test. I watched the hourglass flash (I really love these new digital tests!) and started cleaning up the "evidence" so I wouldn't have to explain anything to the kids. My plan was to call Kristin and check the results while on the phone with her, but I turned to leave the bathroom and the word "pregnant" caught my eye!

I'm not sure how long I stared at that word but I do know I spent the rest of the afternoon and evening pacing and accomplishing nothing because I just didn't know what to do with myself!

I had emailed a picture of the test to Gary at work and I think I got a call from him 5 minutes later! In the email I asked if he would agree to the name "Ollie". Now, you have to understand something. We give our babies "pre-birth" names in this family. We choose a boy name and until we know who is joining our family, that is the name we use and the baby is a "he" not an "it."

So far, we've had "Billy-Bob", "Max" (who we didn't get to keep longer than 10 weeks in my womb), "Mario", Gilbert", and "Russel". And now, God has blessed us with "Ollie"!!!!!!

I can hardly believe that He is allowing me to have the honor of a having new little life knit together in my womb. I feel so blessed and humbled at the same time!

And the kids? Well, after Aly's initial weeping and wailing, she called her best friend and they now have this baby's whole summer planned! Aidan reminded me that one time he said we should have another baby and it should be a boy. I did remember that. I had told him no way. So, he reasoned that because us having a baby came true, it would also come true that it would be a boy. Garrett? Garrett said it's fake. He doesn't believe me. Of course he also stated at bedtime that "if it's a boy we're keeping him in here." And Rachel already knows to lift my shirt up when someone says the word "baby". Super.


Kristin said...

Thank God for Ollie! Or Abigail? And I'm so thankful that God made you and Gary like-minded. And I'm still more thankful that God showed you that something that you thought was bad (late period and negative test) was a sign of the desire He had placed in your heart. :o)