Thursday, August 21, 2008

His Work

Psalm 139:13-16

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

This morning I stood in my kitchen at 6:30, making 11 Swedish pancakes to take up to my little girl's room for her special birthday breakfast in bed. Eleven pancakes. How can she be 11 pancakes old already? By the way, the tradition of getting the same number of pancakes as your age was foolishly started by me when she was only 4. I didn't think ahead.

I was thinking back to that beautiful day and remembering, well, every detail! My water "leaking" at 3:30 am. Going back to sleep even though my contractions had started. Calling my mom in the morning. Cutting Gary's hair before he went to work so he would look nice for the pictures if this was in fact going to be "the day!" Lying in a hospital bed, all hooked up to the monitors but not being admitted because they had to find out for sure if that was my water that leaked. They were confident that this first-time-mom had just wet the bed a bit and would be sent home as soon as the test was run. They were wrong and this first-time-mom, who didn't know anything about anything, was right.

At 11am they finally broke my water, as it had only leaked on it's own. I remember finally being admitted and having to have blood drawn and an IV line placed while contractions were becoming harder and closer. The nurse, who I'm sure is a very nice woman and I know God loves her, couldn't get the IV in. It took quite a few tries. I wonder if she has a clue just how close she came to being knocked over the head with an emesis basin?

By 2pm I was very uncomfortable. About that same time our Associate Pastor came by to visit. That was very nice of him. I was very nice to him. If I had been given my preference I would have visited with him the next day with a baby in my arms instead, but what can you do?

I lose track of time after that but it seems it was around 4pm that I had a thought that panicked me. A contraction was just ending and all of a sudden it occurred to me that, "I can't take a break!" It really freaked me out. I had absolutely no control. It was going to continue to the end and I couldn't do anything about it. I couldn't decide to step out for five minutes. I couldn't press pause. I had to endure whatever came and for however long it took to be finished.

It was after this that I started sleeping in between contractions. It doesn't sound possible, but I'm not kidding. The beginning of each contraction would wake me from a dream and I would start to doze again as the contraction started to diminish. I wouldn't believe it either, so I'm not offended if you don't. I just know that God's grace was sufficient for me! (2 Corinthians 12:9 "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.")

At 5:07pm we met Alison Elizabeth!!! She was long and skinny and had a mess of dark hair with blond tips. I didn't know a baby could be so beautiful. I didn't know my heart could love so deeply. This 7lb. 5 oz., 21" long little girl had brought the room to tears. And I was a mom. What was God thinking? Later that evening when family had gone, Gary and I called his mom to ask her (I wish I was making this up) if we could change Alison's diaper or if we were supposed to call the nurse!

As I pondered all of this over pancakes, it occurred to me that God didn't need me for this miracle of life. He spoke creation into existence. He could have brought Aly into this world without me. Humbly, I recognize that although He doesn't need me, He allows me to be used by Him. To be a part of His work. I believe that's why each mother's story of how she brought each of her children into this world is so special to her. God gave life to my little girl...through me! I will forever treasure the story of how He did that!

Happy Birthday Alison!!!!